Autumn Images

So, for the last little while, I've had a slew of very vivid images. In between apocalyptic dreams, which seem to be one of the standard dreams I have, are these images. I'm only posting two for my own personal reasons and because these two unfortunate souls are in my dreams a lot. I've had this particular tattoo dream, details occasionally changing, for over a year. This was one of the first ones and they continue to occur at varying degrees. There's also just something very haunting about having dreams of your best friends tearing you into itty bitty pieces. Oddly, I felt no fear from these dreams at all. I think someone may be slipping me a very spiffy drug though...

I'm in a tattoo shop, not one I recognize consciously but in the dream I know I've been here many times. I recognize some of the paintings on the wall - Salvidor Dali, Greg Maskwa, Yoshitaka Amano. I recognize a few by Nick and Candice. I smile as Martin comes out of a side room and tells me to strip. I take off my shirt, my skirt, boots and even my candycane stockings everything but the black silk thong. I have a few more tattoos than I actually have now. I lay down on the leather chair and rest my head on my arms. Martin's little tv in the corner is hissing and all snowy but he doesn't seem to notice. He's preparing his tattoo machine and I realize he's doing my back piece.

He talks to me in a soothing voice. I've always loved his voice. He tells me something that makes me laugh. That's something else Martin's always been able to do - make me smile. I take a deep breath, like he tells me to, and relax as he starts to tattoo me spine. It hurts - it hurts more than I remember any tattoo hurting. I start to feel light-headed and the posters on his wall start to melt. The room is steadily getting hotter and hotter. Instead of burning my flesh, the tattoo gun is so ice cold it's burning me. I don't cry, I don't even flinch. Even as Martin's big black feathered wings arch out and fan my bare flesh with chokingly humid air, I barely move a muscle to breathe.

Several grueling hours later, the room temperature returns to normal and he's rubbing the soothing lotion against the fresh tattoo. I look at it in the mirror and tell him it's wonderful, just what I wanted. I look back and he's not sitting down anymore and when I glance over my shoulder to see the tattoo again, he's standing in the mirror. It ripples weirdly as he steps through and wraps his arms around me. Hugging me close, I feel so safe in his arms - always have. I gently drag my fingertips across the flesh of his forearm like I used to do all the time. Then I feel his fingers digging into my flesh, turning into cold steel claws, and he tears me apart. Twisting me around to face him, he shreds my skin and pulls on the elastic strings of flesh like I'm a demented puppet and tugs me back into his arms. My flesh is removed and the muscles glisten a sickening, yet strangely beautiful, red. I smile - snug in his arms and his big black wings unfold again covering every inch of fluorescent light in the small room.

I'm laying motionless in a clover field. White rabbits with ravenous pink eyes amass around me and begin to nibble on my flesh while I lay in the bed of clover - still alive but unmoving. I'm watching the dragons up above amidst the swirling white and blue clouds flying in their pretty patterns. A red dragon and a blue dragon fly at each other and then circle one another so closely I think they might collide. They dive together and disappear before they hit the ground. I sit up and watch dozens of horses, of all colours and shapes, gallop around me. Their muscles ripple and are pulled taut everytime they jump a rusted barbed wire fence. I can smell the blood soaked posts and finally I stand.

Candice is walking towards me in this gorgeous flowing dress. The sun shines down making the joyful tears in her eyes sparkle. She hugs me tightly and I hug her back. A strange shredding sound, like a wet sheet being torn apart, echoes behind me and I feel her nails dig into my flesh and elongate. Her arms become rubbery and take on a darkened crimson hue as she shoves her hand through my chest and shows me my still beating heart. She takes a big bite out of it like its a piece of fruit on a summer's day. I watch a single drop of blood ooze from her lips, down her chin and hit a single daisy waving in the soft breeze. My brain fizzes out and I fall into darkness.

I wake up in a pit of grey quicksand and struggle in vain. I look around frantically, my breath coming in short bursts, as if there's a constrictor snake in here with me. There's snow and dark twisted trees all around me. The trees are covered in light pink cherry blossoms. I watch the wind pick up and snowflakes dance feverishly with the soft pink petals. Parting the storm, Candice emerges like an angel. White leathern wings trimmed with a pearl blue shine sweep out behind her as she walks towards me. She stands at the edge and watches me drown into the grey sands until only one of my hands is still trying desperately to get out. She grabs my wrist and yanks me out of the pool. I'm dangling a few feet from the ground infront of her. She pulls me up until I'm at her eye level. Then she twists my arm until the bones snap and protrude from my flesh. Little shards of ivory scatter and veins dance forth. She let's go and I fall to my knees in agony. I clutch my injured arm in disbelief.

I'm crying and she takes my chin in her hand and makes me look up at her - into her beautiful blue eyes. She's crying too and all of a sudden my eyes are burning, literally burning, flames leap out from them. I'm screaming as flames dance out of my eye sockets. All the while, she's pulling out pliers and cutting off each of the fingers, individually, from my other hand. I can do nothing but scream and whimper pathetically. She drops to her knees infront of me, I don't know how I can still see. Suddenly, she hugs me tightly whispering in my ear, telling me not to be afraid. She sinks her teeth into my jugular and rips out a piece of flesh. Lovingly, she licks at the blood oozing from the wound.